i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
we should paint friendship bongs
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