I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
