You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize