If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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