dude i'm inner monologue high
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
