Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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