Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
