still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
