We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
