while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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