creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
