Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
