I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
