my mouth tastes like poor choices
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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