I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.