yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
how drunk are you?
Several
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
