That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
