We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
