I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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