hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dignity is for republicans.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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