Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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