Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
