k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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