talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
