If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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