how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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