Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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