bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
