you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
