btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
