coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
