we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize