your parents love me but you hate me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
