Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
