Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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