If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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