YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
