So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
