i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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