Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests đ
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
