How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
