I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize