I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
