can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
