dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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