I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
