Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All the doctor said was why
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
