ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
