i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
