What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You can't motorboat a personality
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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