Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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