shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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