i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize